I have been following some interesting discussions on Twitter and further afield on the issue of gender and Christianity. It is so important, I believe, to keep this kind of dialogue going. But I have to be honest with you I am a little frustrated with it all. When will we move on? I really feel that there is a resistance to genuine dialogue and even a determination to shut-down people engaging with the topic. I loved Hannah Mudge’s blog on ‘Gracious debate’ which I think is so insightful and sums up a lot of what I’ve been feeling but not been able to articulate. So I have decided to bring some resolution – yes, you thought it wasn’t possible to bring unity amongst such seemingly disparate groups – well here we go!
Now I need to give some background before I launch the product which will bring about change. When I was 18 I went to a church that was discussing these same kind of issues about gender and leadership (yes, 13 years ago – although the discussion I know is much older than this!). I remember being in a ‘members’ meeting and voting on whether women could be ‘Deacons’. Deacons! Deacons! A service role, as is all leadership of course, but one already being performed by countless women in the congregation. The role already existed, it was just a title in my mind. A title it seems with power – the members voted ‘No’. It broke my heart. I was furious – I get that a lot! I decided that I should do something about it, so I came up with an ingenious plan – one I haven’t hatched until now. I am preparing to market the ‘Detachable Deacon D*ck’.
Whether Egalitarian or Complementarian this is the solution for you! Ergonomic, attractive and most of all practical – this device enables women to function in the roles perceived by some to be solely in the male domain. Put it on, and now, fully endowed, you will be able to preach, teach and hold positions of authority. This lightweight solution brings a potential end to that tricky dialogue around gender! No need to engage our brains, read our bibles or even talk to anyone else. The end of the oppression of women and at last a chance for women gifted by God to be able to step into what God has invested in them! Perfect!
Versions in the pipe-line for other denominations include; the Papal Package, the Bashable Bishop, the Virile Vicar, the Pastor’s Piece, I am really open to further suggestions!
So there we are – resolution! I have my order book at the ready and lots of other ideas in the pipe-line. If dialogue is not a route to move things forward anymore we need to be a little more innovative ; )